So many of you had awesome responses to this black card (only ~60% of which were variations on masturbation, nice work ladies!), but these three were the ones that made me lol. Clockwise from top, white cards by katrinarosa, @rock-it-ship, and @bigawkwardgirl.
Bad Day Zine
A lot of people missed out on this and it’s pretty tiny - I thought I’d post it so that everyone can have some sweet little hints on cheering yourself up when you’re having a crappy day.
The Rumblr’s in-house astrologer, Madame Clairevoyant, presents her latest dispatch from the stars:
Aries: This is a week for taking care of yourself; this is a week for not backing down. It’s a week for trusting yourself, it’s a week for reminding yourself how much your own needs matter. It’s ok to need love, it’s ok to need kindness, it’s ok to just need to be left alone. It’s ok to walk out when you have to; it’s ok to get up and leave. You can love yourself enough to survive. Listen to songs that fill you with life, or read books with happy endings, or watch movies that make you cry.
Taurus: This week, the world might feel so hazy and warm around you; this week, your days might feel so slow. Try to match the rhythm of your heart to the rhythm of the world. Try to live a little slower. It’s ok to need a break; it’s ok to need some rest. Listen to the sounds in the air, and listen to the rain, and try to trust your own skin. Sitting on the porch and watching the sky can be enough, this week. Spending a quiet day with someone you love can be enough.
Gemini: This is a week for letting your heart and your feet and your racing thoughts slow down a little. It’s a week for letting yourself get lazy and calm, for letting yourself heal. Let yourself move through the world slowly enough to notice each crack in the concrete, each bird, each blade of grass. Let yourself enjoy quiet moments and still moments. If you need to, you can spend the whole week sitting on your porch or sitting on your roof or gazing out your open window, feeling the breeze on your face, feeling all the world’s potential.
Cancer: The future will sparkle and shine in front of you this week, all bright and illuminated, but first this week, try to use your time this week to finish the things you’ve started. This is a week for completing projects, it’s a week for endings, it’s a week for closing some doors behind you. It’s easy to feel like this makes your world smaller, like it is a loss, but endings can make your future so much bigger. Closing some doors can make your vision so bright and clear.
Leo: This is a week for slowing down; this is a week for living in stillness. The roads around you can come into focus, and your dreams can get vivid and bright. You don’t need to worry so much this week, just open your windows and watch the world move in the sunlight. Read the books that light up your heart with joy. You can look forward with clear eyes. You can look back with a clear heart. You can remember what you’re seeking and you can remember what you need the most.
Virgo: It might feel a little hazy inside your thoughts this week; you might feel a little dreamy; you might get so distracted by all the colors and light around you. It’s a good week to let your mind float and wander, a little bit. It’s a good week to get a little lost. You won’t move in a straight line this week, and that’s ok. Your days won’t make total sense right now and that’s ok too. You will be able to find your balance. You’ll be able to live so well in this sweet strange world.
Libra: This week is going to be filled with closeness, with warmth, with love. It can feel like heaven but it can get too crowded, too tight, too much. Do what you can to give yourself room to breathe, room to move. Give yourself time to let your thoughts get loopy and weird. Drive on empty highways. Swim in the ocean or swim in a lake and look at the sky above you. There’s so much space for you to live. There’s so much space for your dreams to wander through. There’s so much space for closeness and love.
Scorpio: Everything might feel so weird this week, like you’re disconnected from your own world and disconnected from your own self. It can be a week of strange days, and it can be a week of finding new ways to live in your body, new ways to live inside your thoughts. You can shed the layers that have been weighing you down. You can run until your muscles are sore. You can let your dreams get so big that you can’t ignore them. You can let your desires get so big that you have to call them by name.
Sagittarius: Your world might feel a little lonely this week, and you might get a little restless. The sky might feel too empty, like there’s no solid ground, like there’s too much space between where you’re living and where you want to be. This is ok, just try not to let the melancholy sink too deep into your bones. When it gets to be too much, call the people you’ve been meaning to call. Write to the people you miss. You can fight off your sad days by working so hard to care for other people.
Capricorn: Your days might be a little tangled and a little strange this week, and that’s ok. You can let the world be a little complicated. You don’t have to make sense of each moment of each day. You don’t always have to know just where you’re going. You don’t have to decode every word, every sigh, every star up above you. This week, it’s enough that they’re there, it’s enough that you’re breathing, it’s enough that your world is rich and bright and blue and green. It’s enough to be kind. It’s enough to keep trying.
Aquarius: You might not realize your own strength this week, you might not realize your own wild power, but when the world isn’t right this week you can rise up like a flame, you can rise up like the sea, you can get so loud, you can make everything better. Even if you don’t quite feel this energy inside of you, try to have faith that it’s there. Even when you want to doubt yourself, try to believe in your own wildness, in your strangeness, in all the things you can do.
Pisces: This is a week for living in small moments of kindness and small moments of joy. This can be a week for living in colors and textures and dreams. You don’t need to seek out stories that are bigger than this; you don’t need to make your own life more complicated than it already is. Take walks down the streets you like best; take walks through places that make you believe in the magic of your own life. Read the books that are the kindest, the most generous. Be good to the people you love.
Today’s image was made specially for Madame Clairevoyant by Jen May.
last week was so freaaaaakin awful that this week’s horoscope is telling me to learn some shit from it.
Diane Sawyer: So, have you thought, how many women is enough? How many women [on the Supreme Court] would be enough?
Ruth Bader Ginsburg: Nine, nine. [Applause.]
Sawyer: Oh! Oh. [Laughs.]
Ginsburg: Well, there’ve been nine men there for a long long time, right? So why not nine women?